Mommy Monday: Beauty From Ashes
So, you know when you are young and your parents constantly say, “Be careful,” “Call me when you get there,” “drive safe” or check on you when you are out or wait up for you to get home at night? Well, my parents did that a lot, even into adulthood, and it kind of drove me a little crazy until I was older and realized it just showed how much they love me. It felt good to have someone watching out for me. It’s one of the things I miss most about my dad. I miss a lot of things about him. I miss his calls checking up on me or him having me stay on the phone with him until I got home or insisting I text him that I was safely inside the house even though we were 100 miles apart.
The other night I had the sweetest conversation with my two year old as I was headed out the door to go to a Bible study. He is a mama’s boy and was concerned when he saw I was leaving. I told him that he was going to have special “daddy & Luke” time, which helped him keep the tears from flowing that were welling up in his eyes. He said an enthusiastic “ok” and then lovingly asked, “Mama, you coming back?” “Of course I am buddy. I always come back.” To which he responded, “Ok…be careful mama, text me too!” Melted my heart. I instantly thought of my dad.
Since I lost my dad, one of the things that has been hard for me is feeling like there is one less person who truly loves me for me and cares for me. But what I realized in that conversation with my son is that the Lord brought gave me a beautiful gift and reminder of my dad in my son. He has many of the traits I loved most about my dad in him: his vibrant personality, his love of people and food and his deep love and care for the ones he loves. A month after my dad’s passing the Lord brought a tiny baby into my life who would love me as much as my dad and add immense joy into my life even in the midst of grieving. I don’t know the “whys” of pain and loss, but I do know that the Lord is there, loving us, carrying us through it, and He can bring beauty from ashes. I am so thankful for my little “Jeffrey” who fills my life with love and joy and is a sweet reminder of my dad every time I look at him.
I am so thankful for how the Lord gives me little reminders of my dad in the most unexpected ways.